Featured Cocktail: The Cosmopolitan

The Cosmopolitan is a girly drink. Men should not drink it. I'm not going to give you too much of a history on it, because its not really something you need to know much about. The Cosmopolitan (called "Cosmo" for short) was probably invented in San Francisco in the 1970's. It was popularized at the Odeon Bar in San Fran by bartender Toby Cecchini. He wrote an autobiography called "Cosmopolitan: A Bartenders Life", which I've never read and don't plan to. The drink regained popularity recently thanks to the HBO TV series "Sex in the City". "Sex in the City" is a girly show and I've never watched it, but I understand that the stars of the show (Kim Catrall, Kristen Davis, Cynthia Nixon and former Twisted Sister lead singer Dee Snyder) drank it a lot. I've seen previews and ads for the show, since HBO is the premier boxing network here in the US (they build legends one round at a time).

As I noted in the first paragraph, men should not drink Cosmopolitans. There is one exception— Hollywood legend Robert Evans (his autobiography book and film “The Kid Stays in the Picture” is essential reading and viewing). The Cosmo is Evans’ drink of choice. Robert Evans produced “The Godfather”. He pissed off Ernest Hemingway when cast as a bullfighter in the film version of “The Sun Also Rises”. He dated Ava Gardner, Lana Turner, and Ali McGraw (whom he later married and divorced) among many others. He lost Ali McGraw to the great Steve McQueen. He partied with Henry Kissinger and he discovered Jack Nicholson. Evans’ resume as a man is such that he could drink toilet water if he so chose. I’d gladly buy or prepare a Cosmopolitan for Robert Evans without question or judgment.

The best thing I can say about the Cosmopolitan is that the cranberry juice will help prevent or cure urinary tract infections. Then again, real men seldom get urinary tract infections unless they’ve picked one up from a woman who already has one. Drink a lot of water, piss a lot, and you’ll never get a UTI.

Unless you’ve done as much as Robert Evans, don’t even think about drinking a Cosmopolitan. I offer the following recipe for informational purposes only. I don’t even respect many women that drink Cosmopolitans. For whatever reason, I usually gravitate toward women who drink more “manly” drinks like bourbon, tequila or even wine. However if you must prepare a Cosmopolitan for a woman—or if you ever have the privilege of making a drink for Robert Evans—here’s how to do it:

INGREDIENTS:

1 oz vodka
1/2 oz triple sec
1/2 oz Rose’s lime juice
1/2 oz cranberry juice

PREPARATION:

Shake vodka, triple sec, lime and cranberry juice vigorously in a shaker with ice. Strain into a martini glass, garnish with a lime wedge on the rim, and serve in a martini glass.

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