Reclaiming the Daiquiri
Of all the world's great cocktails, none may have been disgraced and maligned more by the uncivilized masses than the Daiquiri.... They've taken liberties with the martini, disrespected the margarita, and come up with gimmick double entendre drinks like "Sex on the Beach" designed to evoke titters from sorority girls and secretaries who don't know any better. But the Daiquiri has been degraded, defiled, and abused more often and with more zeal than a White House intern. They've stuck every damn fruit in it that will fit into a blender, and turned a manly and civilized libation into a gruesome concoction fit only for MTV Spring Breakers and Love Boat wanna-bes.
The Daiquiri was Hemingway's drink of choice....
So if Hemingway showed up to your door today, you wouldn't serve him a guava papaya wacka wacka passion fruit frozen upside down daiquiri, would you? Not unless you wanted to get your ass kicked, and deservedly so. Civilized men certainly know better. For those of you who don't know better, or who are pleading ignorance at this point just stop your whining cause the Prophet is going to set you straight.
Summer is rapidly descending upon the South Carolina Low Country, bringing with it heat, humidity, mosquitoes, and more grubby tourists than you can shake a 9 iron at. There aren't even any 7-11's in the area, so we're deprived of even a Slurpee to deal with the heat and oppression. Even here at Net Prophet World Control, oasis of civility that it is, we need something to provide cooling sustenance. So aside from keeping the central air conditioning turned up high enough to store meat, keeping the fridge full of pitchers of The Prophet's Iced Tea (to be featured here in the near future), and instituting our "Linen Only" dress code we've found that nothing beats the heat better than a good daiquiri.
Limes are one of the greatest things in the world, so don't let the Prophet catch you trying to stick any other kind of fruit, vegetable, spice or whatever in the mix. Some of Hemingway's biographers have noted that he liked a shot of grapefruit juice in his daiquiri. I haven't tried this, but it sounds pretty tasty. This is, however, the ONLY exception to the 'nothing but limes' rule.
Take a cocktail shaker out of the freezer (you DO keep them in the freezer, I hope...) and fill it with ice and dump in everything else. Shake the hell out of it, strain and pour into a glass. Garnish it with a slice of lime and you're ready to rock.....
About Frozen Daiquiris.....
Frozen daiquiris are a touchy subject. On one hand, Hemingway liked them frozen to beat the heat in Key West and Cuba. I like them, but the weather here in South Carolina during the summer is very much like Cuba. They're sort of a Slurpee for adults, ice cold and tangy. All you need to do to make 'em is follow the recipe above but instead of straining them you need to dump 'em into a decent blender. Blend until the ice is crushed, pour into a glass and enjoy.
But herein lies the caveat of the frozen daiquiri: the blender, though necessary to crush the ice and blend the mixture, is the source of the daiquiri's debasement. The blender begat daiquiris of every imaginable stripe, including strawberry, banana and others too gruesome to mention. The really despicable thing about these drinks is that the fruit overpowers the flavor of the rum, rather than compliment it the way that lime does. Thus a blender, like a firearm, is a very serious piece of equipment that must be handled with care and responsibility.
The Prophet's Rules of Frozen Daiquiri Engagement
If you live in a subtropical climate, like Cuba or Charleston, SC go ahead and drink them. Even if its not humid, but just hot as hell like Las Vegas and Palm Springs that's OK too. Otherwise you must proceed with extreme caution, lest thou art to be perceived as a trendy dumbass. It is important to insure that the heat and/or humidity are extreme enough to warrant their consumption. If it can not be conclusively proven that the heat index is sufficient to justify a frozen daiquiri, you should resort to a safer option like a gin and tonic.
Even if it can be determined that a frozen daiquiri is justified, make sure that you make them yourself or drink them in a real bar. Every cocktail that is consumed at a Fat Tuesday's, TGI Friday's, or other yuppy ersatz "bistro" serves to disgrace the legacy of men like Hemingway, and is another blow against a civilized culture.
Keep in mind, however, that even if a frozen daiquiri is inappropriate for your circumstance, that a regular daiquiri is still a first rate libation........Enjoy!
The Prophet daiquiri
2 oz. light rum
Juice of 1 1/2 limes (REAL limes, not the plastic kind that you squeeze)
3/4 tsp. bar sugar (just plain ol' powdered sugar will do)
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