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Cocktails: The Manhattan

One of the few bad things that happens during Triple Crown season every year is the upswing in the popularity of the Mint Julep. Though I don't begrudge the amateurs an excuse for a good party, the Kentucky Derby appeals to an especially banal crowd. People who don't know the Daily Racing Form from Maidenform are seen drinking themselves loopy on the sickingly sweet concoction. Personally, I think the Mint Julep might rank with "The Dukes of Hazzard" and cousin marriage among the worst things ever to come out of the south. As I write this, the Kentucky Derby has passed and we're coming up on the Preakness. I hope that none of you made the mistake of actually *drinking* a Mint Julep during all of the Kentucky Derby hype. Juleps are a girly drink, and unless you happen to *be* a girl you sure don't want to be known as someone who drinks girly drinks. Just drink Manhattans, and you'll be able to escape from a horse track with your dignity and manhood intact.

The Manhattan is the Prophet's Derby Day drink of choice, and really just a good all purpose drink. Even as I was tearing up my exacta tickets each year, I still have the respect and admiration of my peers since I didn't stoop so low as to drink a girly drink. Even if it *weren't* named for the greatest city on the planet without slot machines in the airport, this would still be a cocktail befitting a civilized man. Problem is that far too many bartenders these days don't know how to do a Manhattan right. Actually, that needs a bit of clarification: a REAL bartender knows how to make a Manhattan, but unfortunately REAL bartenders aren't as easy to find as they once were. There's a lot of food service lifers who *think* they're bartenders, but just don't get it. Its important to make sure that you DO get it, so you'll be prepared should you encounter one of these charlatans.

In theory, a Manhattan is a pretty easy drink to make:

1 1/2 oz. blended whiskey or bourbon--I used to think that Manhattans should be made with Canadian whiskey, but a lot of people I respect insist on bourbon. Maybe its a southern thing...anyway, both ways work so take your pick.

3/4 oz. sweet vermouth--This is where a lot of faux-bartenders screw up. Unlike a martini, which calls for restraint with the (dry) vermouth, the Manhattan should have a decent amount of sweet vermouth.

Dash of bitters--Another problem area, most of the Manhattan devotees I know would rather drink water out of a urinal than a Manhattan without bitters. Angostura bitters are the most common, and are very good. Most bars have them, and I even know a few people who won't go into a strange bar without their own bottle just in case. You might want to try orange bitters, for a little bit of variety.

Throw it all in a mixing glass with a lot of ice, stir it up, strain it off and serve. Garnish it with a maraschino cherry. Now *that's* a man's drink, and a civilized man's drink to boot. For some reason, I haven't met many female Manhattan drinkers. If you do come across one, it might not be a bad idea to marry her.

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